Four in the morning

Sometimes, I will catch myself looking at my phone; calculating the time zone difference between us. It usually happens around four in the morning, which means
that it’s around six where you are. Are you thinking about me?

It started when I got sick for the first time after I moved out, and my friends dragged me along to a sleep over. I really didn’t think it was a good idea for me to go but I went along with it anyways: which meant I slept through the majority of the party. But when four in the morning rolled around, I couldn’t sleep, and when I don’t sleep, I think of you.

I told my friend that I think of you, but she doesn’t support us talking. “Text me when you want to text him! That way we all win!” But the problem starts at four in the morning, when it is three in the morning where my friend lives. I could text her, but I still fear dying, so I wait til’ she wakes up. Too bad that she doesn’t wake up until it’s near noon for me, and I have already been writing you texts messages and deleting them, before I can send, for the last seven hours.

Time zones: They seem to separate me from the people I want to be closest to. I am a step ahead of my home, but two steps behind you, and everyone who is on pace with me is strange and foreign. I guess we can never be at the same place at the same time. Sometimes I think that if we were ever in same room together, space and time would collapse. But know that as much as I fear that moment when we could be together, I imagine that destructive moment to be the most beautiful moment in time. And that moment is usually in my dreams right before I wake up… and I think about you.